SAINT STEPHEN OF HUNGARY (OPTIONAL MEMORIAL)

Treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector.

Let’s face it: we all fall into sin. We all hurt each other. It’s just a fact of life in our fallen world. Nobody knows this better than Jesus. That’s because nobody has been more “sinned against” than he was (see Matthew 18:15). He knew what it felt like to be betrayed, spoken against, hurt, and scorned! So when he gives his disciples guidance on how to deal with a brother or sister who has sinned against them, he isn’t just speaking divine wisdom. He is also speaking out of his own human experience.

That’s probably why he told his disciples to try to be as patient as possible when dealing with someone who has hurt them or has done something wrong. Rather than immediately condemning the person and cutting off all ties, Jesus wants each of us to imitate him, the One who is “slow to anger” and “abounding in mercy” (Psalm 103:8). If we can try first to have a heart-to-heart conversation with that person, we might be able to win them back (Matthew 18:15). And if that doesn’t work, we shouldn’t give up. Rather, we can find support from other brothers and sisters who can help us speak the truth in love (18:16).

It’s only after these attempts at reconciliation have failed that Jesus tells us to take the final step of placing some distance between ourselves and the other person. But again, this is not so that we can judge and condemn them. He’s the only One who can judge, and even he didn’t come to condemn (John 3:17). Instead, that distance can diffuse tension and help us to focus on interceding for the person. It can also help us create space in our own hearts for God’s mercy to heal us of any wounds or bitterness that might have crept in.

Sin is a very destructive force. Its effects can fester and linger long after any one sin has been committed. That’s why Jesus has given us this teaching. He doesn’t want anyone to remain trapped by its power. So he promises to be with us as we try to address sin with one another (Matthew 18:20). He promises always to help us as we seek to “loose” one another from its grasp (18:18).

“Jesus, help me to be an ambassador of your reconciliation.”

Deuteronomy 34:1-12
Psalm 66:1-3, 5, 8, 16-17
Matthew 18:15-20