Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me

Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me. 

Saint Bonaventure, Bishop and Doctor of the Church (Memorial)

Family relationships are probably the most important and influential relationships we have.   In Israel at the time of Jesus, this was even more the case than it is today.   That’s why Jesus’ words in today’s Gospel (Matthew 10:37) reading had an especially sharp edge for his first hearers:   he seemed to be talking about severing family ties for the sake of the gospel.   Did he really mean for his disciples to do this?

Not exactly.   Jesus was using classical Jewish hyperbole—that is, an extravagant exaggeration—to make a point:   our relationship with him needs to become the most important relationship in our lives.   No other relationship, not even with close family members, should come before Jesus.   Of course, Jesus is not saying that we should stop loving our family members, or anyone else, for that matter.   He is simply challenging our priorities and asking us to place him first and foremost in our hearts.

Most people are concerned about what their family members think of them and how to please their parents or children, and this is good.   However, sometimes we let these family concerns override or crowd out our relationship with Jesus.   Such concerns can dominate us so much that, for all practical purposes, we set Jesus aside and try to please our family more than we seek to please the Lord.   When this happens, we risk looking to the wrong source for our fulfillment and our ability to love our families.

Putting Jesus first will ultimately prove the wisest course in our relationships with other people, and especially with our families.   In fact, a loving and strong connection with Jesus can actually enhance our other relationships.   Why? Because the closer we are to Jesus, the more peaceful, compassionate, and generous we are.   His love smooths out our rough edges and helps us to love our family members as he loves them.   And these are always the prime ingredients in a healthy, loving relationship.

Word Among Us