SAINT LEO THE GREAT, POPE AND DOCTOR OF THE CHURCH (MEMORIAL)

. . . that you might have him back forever, no longer as a slave but . . . a brother. 

“I wish he would just take my advice!” Sound familiar? It can be so frustrating when someone doesn’t seem to want to hear from us. So how should we approach the fine art of advice giving?

In today’s first reading, we hear St. Paul giving bold advice to his friend Philemon. Paul is pleading with him to take back his runaway slave, Onesimus, as a brother and not just a servant.

So what does Paul teach us about offering advice and counsel? First, look at the situation from a heavenly perspective. Paul kept in the forefront of his mind the fact that all three men—himself, Philemon, and Onesimus—were loved by Christ (Philemon 4, 12). This perspective helped him find a way to treat everyone involved with the respect and honor they deserved as brothers in the Lord.

Second, evaluate your advice in terms of its truthfulness. Are you sharing the whole truth? Paul admitted that Onesimus had broken the law and owed restitution to his master (Philemon 18). But he also appealed to Philemon’s faith and his friendship with Paul—another truth that should balance any demand for “justice” (7-10).

Finally, is your advice laced with hope? Despite the stark reality of being in prison and making a challenging request of his friend, Paul’s letter is full of confidence. He’s certain that Philemon will do the right thing in forgiving Onesimus, that Onesimus and Philemon will become brothers in Christ and advance the kingdom of God together, and even that Paul will be released from prison and be able to visit them (Philemon 15-17, 22). Is your advice based on fear or hope? If fear, take a deep breath and ask the Lord to show you that he is in control of the situation.

In the end, Paul recognizes that the outcome is in God’s hands. He has said his piece, and now it’s up to the Lord to guide his friends. You can do the same, confident that the Holy Spirit will bring about God’s perfect plan.

“Lord, teach me how to offer counsel and to trust you with the outcome.”

Philemon 7-20
Psalm 146:7-10
Luke 17:20-25